2020 can go screw itself….seriously!

What the hell has happened this year? The world has gone mad…..and I’m just along for the ride. Lets start back to January…..January was a good month. Jim and I went on another cruise. It was nice. Had a balcony for the first time. That was awesome! Then I decided it would be a good idea to challenge my brother in law, Bob, to a weight loss challenge. Each of us having to lose 70lbs by the end of October. We both weighed in….back in January….I was 321 I think. Didn’t really take it seriously since I thought I had plentyyyyy of time. Then, in February, my cousin and I went on a cruise to celebrate our 50th birthdays. We both just turned the big 5-0 back in December and September in 2019. This was the beginning of the pandemic….well, sort of….When we were boarding, we were asked if we have been to China or anywhere outside the US. That was the only thing they asked. No temps were taken and we were not even asked if we have been sick or felt sick recently. So we boarded….and despite some initial issues with our room, got another balcony, we had a great time. It was fun watching her enjoy her first cruise. We were on the Carnival Liberty, and I had already been on that one, so I could give her the tour. So we had a great week, got off the boat on February 14th….drove home…and got ready for Nathan to come home to celebrate his birthday. My Valentine baby turned 20. That night, I started with some weird cough….but just ignored it since it wasn’t really bothering me that much. HOWEVER, the next morning I woke up with a 104 fever and felt like I was going to die. The night before I was fine….how the hell did I get so sick in a matter of hours? It was awful. I was out for a week…finally went to the doctor….was tested for the flu…that came back negative but she said all my symptoms were very flu like, so I am probably on the tail end of it. Looking back, I’m seriously thinking I may of had the freaking virus. Who knows. I did pass it along to Jacob and Nathan. They were not happy with me. Tonya, my cousin, never did get sick. So, I can’t blame the boat….or can I? Idk.

Now lets move onto March….this is where the shit show really starts. I own a restaurant. SOOOOO…now we have the Coronavirus really taking on a new level and shutting down the world. Well, I would say mid March, our governor basically shut down Florida. We were not allowed to have any customers dine in. At that point, we were allowed to use delivery services, which we had two at the time, Doordash and Bitesquad. But my sales seriously plummeted. People were afraid to leave the house. Except to get toilet paper of course. Never in my life have I seen store shelves so empty….and mind you…I live in Florida, so when a hurricane is coming, the shelves go kinda empty, especially the water. But this was on a whole new level. At that time, masks were not mandatory yet. But people were wearing them. I was so stressed….worried about the restaurant….my staff, my family, EVERYTHING. This was a new level of stress. Of course, what do I do when I’m stressed….I eat. Anything and everything in sight, in my mouth it would go. I will worry about the stupid diet and bet with Bob later. The restaurant took a beating in March…..I changed my hours to stay open only til 7, had to cut labor drastically. I told my staff if they were not comfortable coming in, please don’t….stay home. Everything was uncertain at the time. I had a few employees who did not want to come in….one because she had a kid (but she used that kid for every excuse in the books anyway), and another because she had asthma, and a few whose parents wouldn’t let them work. Speaking of my younger staff, I felt so bad for all my seniors this year….no prom, no real graduation. What an awful way to end your senior year.

This year just keeps getting better……our Alaskan cruise was cancelled in May. I was really looking forward to that one. Florida was reopening in phases. We were allowed to open at 25%. Then masks became mandatory. And now I have to be the mask police. Speaking of police……yes, black lives matter…. and then we had to shut down the restaurant for a day due to protests in the area….. crazyyyyy world.

The year anniversary of my brothers and sisters death came in July and August. This is still weighing heavy on my heart. More on that later. Jim and I celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary on September 2nd. We decided we needed to get away. So we booked a trip to Treasure Island for a few days. I’m paying the price now though with a severe sunburn. Yes, I used sunscreen. 100 spf. But I guess I didn’t reapply as often as I should’ve. I enjoy being in the water. It was warm and clear. The beach was fairly empty so it was nice. Yes, my big fat ass wore a bathing suit. Again, I love the water. I am at the heaviest I have ever been in my life. Weighed myself this morning. A big whopping 346. Like how the fuck did that happen. No wonder I can’t walk for more than 10 minutes without being winded. My body physically hurts. I’m disappointed and disgusted in myself. I’m so far deep in a hole, how will I climb out? I need someone to pull me out.